Spirit of Nation bagged by tubby yoot

Love me or leave me--cherished symbol of an entire culture for both Red and Blue-Staters alike to be turned into NPR fundraiser tote bags and at least 8000 Sam's Choice family-sized bags of fried pork rinds

This story originally appeared in the "Urth" press as "UNDERAGE NRA GUNMAN DOWNS MICHAEL MOORE" but examination of the corpse revealed it to be at least twice the size of Saint Michael and several times more swinish. Pluswhich the titanic bovine was wearing neither budget wire-framed eyeglasses nor a meticulously "aged and soiled" ball-cap--integral elements of the beloved muckraker's brand image. The Great Pig's only accessories were an enamelled flag pin used to pierce one of far too many nipples, and a tattered and faded bumper sticker affixed to its rump that boasted: ASS, GRASS OR CASH--NOBODY RIDES FOR FREE

Several local Native Americans--at the urging of Erden undercover agents (who coincidentally were of the same tribe!)--examined the stinking carcass and correctly identified it as the now-deceased Animal Soul of A-Merka. The pronouncement was greeted with delirious rejoicements by the various politically correct hangers-on and multiculturalist toadies (those blind and sucking critters that are often found attached like lamprey to Native Americans) but the "Indians" made it unambiguously clear that this was their animal spirit as well.

Will A-Merka survive now that its soul has been bazooka'ed into oblivion by an fittingly obese and androgynous Red-State bumpkinette, or will its core values manifest as yet another record-sized oinker... or worse?

Meanwhile, in the Muddled East, a similar monster, shaped less like a porker (praise Allah!) and more like a grotesquely over-sized hyena has been reported mindlessly raging about from Gaza to Tehran to Darfur. Our Sufi and sub-Saharan shaman contacts are working hard at a spirit identification and they already have their suspicions.