Now let's everybody just stop for a second and take a nice deep breath

One Angry and Vengeful Prophet...or Deity...or Something

Prostrate yourselves before me worthless mortals! Follow the path of peace and enlightenment or suffer my excruciating tortures! Sacrifice virgins, punish unbelievers, kill, conquer, and convert and complain about words and pictures in my glorious name! Send my media representatives boodles of cash and get out there and vote! Do my bidding and I shall reward you with food, sex, wealth and nice-looking wings (maybe a harp if you're really good); deny me and boyo you'll regret it! I am the Great and Wrathful Boo-Duh! All praise unto me or else!