Our Emperor: Groomed for Superciliousness and Affability without Need for Lies or Doing Damage

No Bumpkin Cap for This Monarch: Louis Napoleon VI or VII (Who Among Us is Counting?) Assumes the Role sans Jogging Culottes and Hypocrisy

[ED: Or, conversely, any potentate who can, with wink and nod, invade a foreign land with less evidence than would fail to convict a known horse-thief should Dress the Part]

UPCOMING: A lengthy explanation concerning why our beloved Erden Empire, unlike the misnamed "Republicks" and "Democraticks" and "People's Witch-Hunteries" of "Da Urth" calls a spade a spade (as any organized Government of any tribe or nation of substance is inevitably an Imperial thing--we challenge the doubtful to prove, using unmolested historical evidence, otherwise) and hoists a well-meaning yet powerless Peacock (our adored paternal "leader") and his ever-socially concerned Butterfly wife (our much-loved maternal "leaderess") to the print and wireless medium-heavy fore so that all citizen-dilettantes and naifs who flounder (at bottom) or founder (atop) in the waters of true political responsibility may pin their hopes and tails on grinning cardboard donkeys rather than the ugly, flawed, and emphemerous politicos, leaving those wretched yet dutiful souls to do an approximation of a Good Job. Their Most Excellences, unanchored entirely from concerns of tickling toes and smooching the electorate in any sweaty and gravitus-like re-electing way, are free to hear all and smile, and form general judgements and a Big Picture-ish appraisal entirely at remove from partisanship. Their concern is with their own ease and comfort, and the ease and comfort of the mass of man and monkey-kind embraced by the Empire equally. They are the beaming parents of our remaining poli-toddlers, and genteel and entertaining companions to all "gwownups" and bridge-players of the land. Their wise counsel--and lightheartedness--is welcomed within the claustrophobic administrative cloisters of the Floating Capital. They often bring cookies and treats on their visits. Anathema to many this monarchical arrangement may be, but accepting of the realities of as-yet not quite 100% enlightened man and woman-kind it unquestionably is. This popular, morale-building, and thoroughly harmless theatricality costs the Empire a pittance annually.