Institute Notable Echos Concerns about Global Warping

Professor Jean Belmondo

In an article published in this month's issue of Tropical Topological Panoptical Topics, Professor Belmondo provides additional evidence for the growing belief that the surface of our world is gradually becoming increasingly topologically irregular. Through rigorous experimentation, Belmondo uncovered disturbing indications that while absolute distances between points (or towns or cities) have not altered, the measured times of travel are varying significantly. For example although The Floating City and Beamtun are exactly 383.62 kilometers apart, travel time between the two metropoli, at a fixed rate of 60 k.p.h. and along precisely the same roads, varies, at times, from between 6 to 10 hours. Although no clear connection can be made at this early date, there is speculation that the cause of Global Warping may be the increased use (since the early 1800's) of non-linear algebra as a method of calculating energy consumption. Worries abound that if the warping continues it could trigger a reciprocating phase of global woofing and our world could enter another catastrophic implosive Micro-Age.