Professor Pille interviews Noam Chomsky

Where are my hell-spawned "Human Resource" urchins?

• PP: There is some vague reference here within this pusillanimous enumeration of your so-called achievements thrust upon me during my reluctantly abbreviated break-fast that you have concocted learned tomes?
• NC: I don't recall providing your office with a resume, but yes, I have written a number of books
• PP: Are you not--as I read here on the document's banner--Norman Chowderskee of Punchville, Algonquin National District?
• NC: No, I'm Noam Chomsky
• PP: Then you did not scribe Chowderskee's Ten Methodologies to Certain Canasta Triumph?
• NC: No, I wrote Manufacturing Consent and a number of other books that reveal how the power struc...
• PP: Terrors of tumbling tea-cozies! Do any of these putative scribblings maneuver into canasta edification in the most insignificantly apprehend-able manner?
• NC: No! Why this is ridiculous! I'm a linguist and an authority on imperial...
• PP: Seal your pie-entryway, upstart! You are cognizant that the advert in the Portville Trumpeter-Doubloon unambiguously delineated a canasta authority vacuum here at the Mt. Palomine Institute, as we are restructuring our cultural games and diversions department? Your skill-sittage is as--let me re-brief from your verbal statement--a manufactory process consultant for suggestive perfumes, I would take it, and that alone?!
• NC: Wha... ?
• PP: A grand mixologicational dislocative, no doubt--your puffed-up enumeration of schoolings and (cough) career milestones will be kept "on file," (I believe is the scripted line used by the underlings who normally squander time in this office) and one of those rapscallions who claimed ill this day will notify you if a suitable opening appears as if of magic conjuration, no other arrangement being optional. Confidentially, between the back of that fine sofa you slouch bonelessly upon and my august self, linger not with hope-drenched heart by your home wiretalker as you present yourself carelessly... and good day
• NC: ...?

[Editor's Note: Sometimes the "humor" on this site is hard work but possibly worth the effort--kind of like learning old English or whatever awful language they spoke back in the Dark Ages so one can read Beowulf in the original, not that anyone would really want to do that. Professor Pille has accused Mr. Chomsky of being a "manufactory process consultant for suggestive perfumes" because Chomsky wrote a book titled Manufacturing Consent--the joke of course being that the dear professor thinks "Consent" is the saucy name of a perfume and it probably is. The idea that Chomsky would be mistaken for a perfume maker suggests even deeper levels of humor: a critique coupled with a bucketload of irony directed at the somewhat overwrought title of that famed book. At some point we'll just stop all this and instead have Pille hit him with a slap-stick and say something like "What are you, a f**king a**hole loser?!" (We're even considering giving the professor a voice like Cartman from South Park). It'll get a good solid laugh, we'll still get our paychecks, and everyone can go home happy for a change]