Third Animal in Intelligent Re-Design Program Released by Creatrix

Icky Poisonous Spider Now Cute as Button

Above is an example of the Phase Two version of Latrodectus mactans or the deadly Black Widow Spider--third of the new intelligently-redesigned (for our modern convenience) species dreamed up by our beloved Creatrix. Although the lethality of this arachnid has not been altered in the least, its new merry appearance will make it, like contemporary hospitals and doctor's offices, a bizarre mix of pure terror and inappropriate whimsy. If bitten, you will be asked by the spider (in a rather sweet child-like voice) to rate the mind-numbing pain on a scale of one to ten. It will then scurry off to get you a cup of juice.