Khameleonism Explained

Khamel Leone--Philosophical Shape-Shifter and Uniformed Jerk

If the Khameleonist Philosophical Credo was just "whatever, dude" that would be one undersized trout to toss back into the steam tanks. Unfortunately, Khameleonists adopt whatever philosophical premise they need to keep them employed as philosophers, meaning they have keen senses for marketing and grant maggotry (like most "Urth" scholars). They also sell well-built, internally consistent, tautologically guaranteed (good for five years or full refund) philosophies to those individuals or organizations needing a rationalization for dismal behavior, making them the intellectual "arms" dealers of the world. Recently they supplied a sagging and diminishing Gaul with a full kit of critical ice-picks, blow-torches, and sledgehammers--Gaul's desperate last bid for intellectual/aesthetic power in an ever-changing Erde--and, via a now-capsized dummy agent named Andrea Doria-Mwunchkins (she married Colonel Kernelle Mwunchkins--the anorexic Olympic philatelist), foisted a wobbly stack of bad ideas on a bevy of hyperventilating Erden females when all the gaspers needed was fresh water and sunshine! Notoriously colorblind Andrea is best known for her famous diktatum--all grass is blue--and she'd pummel the snot out of anyone who disagreed, as would her devoted followers (After bankrupting 16 lawn care companies and making millions of grass lovers feel guilty and miserable, she finally casually admitted, oops, it was probably green after all). Khameleonists also provided many stubbornly independent Liberterrible-two-ians with a conceptual rental-truckload full of fertilizer: the idea that a whole planetful of toddlers was a good and naturally lawful thing. Unlike Pilatists, who recognize a multiplicity of eternal, unyielding, unchanging and thoroughly contradictory "Truths," Khameleonists rely upon and perpetuate the myth that each New Big Thing is The Final Soul-ution--a Weltanschauung that generally appeals to kids of all ages and Der Lower Household Pets (fiddler crabs, hamsters, chias, etc.). It's just more proof that the Khameleonists are well-versed in marketing theory and were once in cahoots with the thankfully long-dead Corporealate Sponges (see earlier posting). Confused? Well that's what we want, and what Khameleonists can remedy, at the cost of your immortal soul. Upcoming: more detailed story on Khamel Leone, the worst, or at least most irresponsible, philosopher that ever lived... and bane of the noble Pilatists.