Relocated low-rider border places nation closer to pavement and solves vanishing southern boundary quandary

Problem sol-ved

Geographies are thriftily rearranged via mere cartographies, as few mortals possess reckoning of the true lay of lands and seas. If the problem persists, the Bananama Canal may be sealed off at either aperture, glutted with kerosene, and ignited, creating an impassable flaming barrier (or see a doctor). The other option offered is the construction of a land bridge to Cue-bah using materials left about from the ancient and abandoned Bering Straits Land Bridge Project* from 12,000 BC, and installation of signs misdirecting migrants there. Cue-ba is not to be confused with the more northerly "province" of "Cue-becky" which already has its own personal land bridges in the form of Angled-Kanadia proper.

The "Enema Canal" postulated in the above illustration is a mere whimsy, a moderately subtle and complex joke of no consequence.

*The Bering Straits Land Bridge Project (AKA "The Big Fill") was a complete disaster; it proved to be a gateway for only the most unsavory types of immigrants, those of whom, upon arrival in the Virginal New World, proceeded to extirpate nearly every entertainingly immense mammal of note with the exception of the Giant Grounded Sloth which can still be found peevishly ringing sales at the front end of the longest register lines at Wal-Marts. The destruction of the Mega-Fauna or The Holocene-caust--a meticulously planned genocide with its own birch-bark Buchenwalds and tee-pee Auschwitzes--was of unprecedented proportions. Current "Native Merkans" have yet to atone for this crime against nature, or even acknowledge their culpability. We at the Institute believe heavy fines should be levied and quotas imposed to rectify these old injustices--for example, it should be mandated that one out of every seven employees on reservation casinos be a Woolly Mammoth or Glyptodon.