How to read the Planetary Panopticon (if you can read, that is)

The Mt. Palomine Institute of Mysteries Director of Public Assuagement Herr Anatole Zliplitt

Hello and guten Tag. My name is Anatole Zliplitt and as Director of Public Assuagement here at the Institute it is--among many other of my onerous "tasks"--my honor ...[pardon a moment as I must vomit] ... to direct the perpetually befuddled public in what some may regard as "the right direction."

As the staff is taking an interminable breather following the wastage of months of their lives in this thoroughly vain attempt to wittily entertain a mostly non-existent niche (as marketing wastrels and saw-heads on your Flat-ulent "da Urth" world would have it), the right direction here, within these phantom electrical pages, is therefore backwards or, more plainly, the Archives. Unlike most things-called-blogs which (forgetting hour-before generated absolutes) celebrate the will-o-the-wisp, moment-to-moment, non-linear, micro-epiphanies of the attention-defecated (the sudden Columbus-like discovery of raisin toast and marmalade, the uncovering and counting of toes, the illuminations gained from a New Age recipe book, rage-spotted tirades against billion-year-old injustices, and similar drivel) this particular bastion of sensible nonsense offers past thoughts that are every bit the equal of present ones...well, at least nearly present ones before the tsunami of censorial hogwash erupted from your world through the Echo-world viewing device we have dubbed "Der Peeper" and brought our credulity and creativity to an absolute frost-topped agogic standstill.

So, rather than merely park the a-quivering gluteus maximus here for but an an instant, dully survey the only landscape nearest the finely tipped point of the nasum ("surf" as it were), and head homeward for gin soaked pizza and unreality Optical Wireless disappointed that the trite cliches you yearn for are nowhere to be unveiled (insulted too by the absence of monotonous mono-and-bi-syllabicisms and "sound bitten" pre-digested tidbits), do delve into older postings and attain--most truly--the lay of the alter-arena known as Erde. In keeping with the frontier spirit of the "Urther" Interknit we guarantee the dutiful virtua-pilgrim will be rewarded with the full-bore "Urth" entertainment and enlightenment gamut: endless pornographic images, tiresome rehashings of the Pez-headential abominations, religio-nincompoopery of the finest sacramental and excremental weave, titillating horrors and monstrosities, sadism and vulgarity masquerading as humor, woolly-headed nostrums, helium-fueled opinions, and, natürlich, kittens galore! Bon appétit!