The iMerikan Ur-politick appears to be a bed of corn

While maize is the correct-most term for this aboriginal agricultural accouterment, the knobbled comestible is generally referred to as "corn" by the Lumpen Pole-hole-teriat of "da Urth" (your world).  However, we here at the Mount Palomine Institute are torn a-twain between respect for lexical accuracy and high humor, as it is a challenge to make much witty hay with a word lyke "maize." Consider "maize-dog" for firsters, and then all conceivable dreary puns utilizing "a-maize". Nary a gigglet. Yet "corn-dog" instantly opens a broad city gate of sardonics.

Anderwise, the juxtaposition of a fine Barko Blama "corn" image (topmost) and a bewildersome Ritt Mommily "corn" image (directly underneath the topmost, near its bottom) reveals much, but mostly on a profundamentallly sub-oceanic, unter-brain unter-plane. A scientifical experiment is suggested: After viewing these dual Daguerreotypes, who, then, would garner up your vote--the corn-barterer, or the corn-contemplator? The mighty why, though, would require of a voter many years of Neuropsychoproctological testing and analysis.

There is more to scribble here, but at a later tyme. Dinner is served, and there is corn-on-the-cob.

I re-orient my dorsal portions for a glazed triviality, and upon my return, you have aged significantly (but not matured)

My lexica! Where-when-what-why did this new-found DaguerreoShoppe© come up from... up? Certainly, I did not commission this pugilistic assault on the Solar Perplexus!

Jibbers & Kane! This sage (being myself, your page-and-outre-buoy) was distracted from his duties for a nano-nonce by the passing pastry-cart. I had but cantilevered my demi-corpulent self from my mahogany roll-top, dangling at butter-knife lyke seat-edge from the accompanying buttock hammock only to extend an extremity and snatch at an attractive cup-cake as it whizzed by at maximal pastry-cart velocity--an uncomplicated & innocent activity by any conjecture--when within that motion-stuffed interval that dwelled between cup-cake desire and cup-cake triumph, the dials and gauges on my computing engine registered an electroniste zizz/zagg, and some perplexingly erratic  burpafurcation of the Spaced Tymed Continuundrum commenced. The anomaly catapulted my ever-intermittent Interknittal connection with your world of "Da Urth" far ahead in tyme and by many many years. I am, thusly, out of sync with my ink: seated here within the benign comfort of Erde, annum 2009, YET gazing (with no anticipated depletion of horreur & bewilderament) at your futuristical world of Urth, año del diablo 2012!  Judging by a hasty lookaround at your world of 2012, seemingly all has CHANGED (as well-promised by the--in 2009--newly-elected iMerikan Pez-head-ent, Barko Blama*), and no thing remains the same.

I must, therefore, instantly consult with Herr Doktor Leavander Fricke C.M., my fellow High Sachem here at the Mount Palomine Institute of Mysteries, and (in matters such as this here one now evilly eye-balling this-my-self) my not infrequent superior. I believe Fricke is having a trim at the Institute's primate tonsorial parlour, which is no lowly stroll from my office. Mercifully, the cup-cake will energize me for the awesome task.

*My computing engine's Translate-O-Tron yet still is contending with the proper transmutation of the modernistical iMerikan "language" of Gangsta-textmessagese (a wilde hybrid of over-offense and over-brevity) into something one may deem intelligible. Too often-times, the Translate-O-Tron alerts me that there exists nothing intelligible whatsoever to be located within any of the iMerikan linguistical raw materials themselves; most translations yield, as was once said in Olden Tymes, "less-than-a-mouse" (no offense to mice employees of the Institute). In turn, the Translate-O-Tron must place my world's Sense, Meaning, and Substance upon Procrustes' fabled chaise-lounge and attempt to trim it all down to the microscopic dimensions of a birdie-Tweet. Anatole Zliplitt, our institute's charm-drenched Director of Publick Assuagement, speculated that if the Urthine aboriginals' brain-puddings were overburdened with any-thing more substanceful than the equivalent of a roar or grunt, they would become rapidly dessicated and precariously implosive. Indeed, this depressing theory has been verified by our anthropologistical field-staff.

Not so much abandoned as relocated and possibly delocated

Rumors of my demise are disgrounded

This bloggery has been vacationing on the MySpacery, becoming tanned and besotted. A quick google will find it. It will return here someday soon, or at least be doubled up upon this venue, as it is quieter here (perhaps too quieter).

The MySpacery fluidly draws inward!

Any viral incommode could be lurking behind these MyMaskeries

Commencing near instantaneously (or within the next few days) this bloggery will be dusted off and reactivated. This following a long and vexatious (and adware/spyware filled) term of office within the MySpacery.

Praise Wotan! No more annoy-ful admoretisements! No more weird malfunctions and malicious downloads! No more readers!

Waffling becomes Elektra and the Postdemon Only Rings Twice

A dramatic visualization of something terminal

Most if not all activity that should be taking place hereabouts is taking place thereabouts--there just about being within the MySpacery which is hidden behind this address bar:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=62742814

The reasoning for this is simple arithmeticated logication. We were read by three here and we are read by five there which is 66% more there-ism than here-ism. Any investor would agree. If this sage had the time and wherewithall to double-post that might make eight readers totale grande, and wooden dat be sumpin.

Sad though that these our best creative efforts of the last few years--efforts that a few have described as among the more genuinely novel on the Interknittery-- are so underwhelmingly underscrutinized. Some blame the arcanery and complexity; others our complete failure to cater to the fancies of the modernistical iMerikan© hoi polloi. If this adventure in nitwhimsicality had volcanoed out in, say, the 1960s we would have been regularly featured on the Ed Sullivan show, along with Topo Gigio.

Dimp adds fifth wheel to electoral dumptruck

Dave decided that iMerika© was not completely well-represented by his candidate-selves unless he added a nebulous presence in a fine suit.

Momentum accelerates as Dimp vies with self for top slot

Dimp covers own flanks with crackpot doily by running as independents

Left and Right inside-out and upside down again!

Dave's positions:

Eye-Wrack: Evil is afoot either home or abroad and we as a nation must burn it at the stake!

Health Care: "More demons, and wearing latex gloves!"

Abortion: "There is a conspiracy of fetuses to destroy free enterprise!"

Religion: "I am the tin funnel of all truth, divine or otherwise!"

The Budget: "Idle hands, unless they have an excuse, are the workshop of sinfulness! Tax the power-elite fetuses!"

iMerika's relationship with Russia: "The only way to face this menace is to bomb or vote ourselves back to the Stone Age!"

Dimp cannonades chapeau into Circus Minimus!

Dave believes the bestest strategy is to run up against himself sidewise

Dave's platforms:

Eye-Wrack: "Declare a time-out, withdraw the troops, apologize to everyone, and then re-invade the place again but this time do it the right way!"

Health Care: "I care that everyone should get healthy!"

Abortion: "I believe in self-determination--give the fetuses the vote and let them decide--democratically!"

Religion: "I am the Lord Jeebus but I have absolutely no faith in myself! I am a Evangelical Vegetable-aryan; I believe in separation of churches and steaks!"

The Budget: "The government should buy its toilet paper and missiles at Wal-Mart and save a big bundle!"

iMerika's© relationship with Russia: "The only good Commie is dead!"