Pilletrails Magazine Lacks Controversy, Promotes Bi-Kultural Mediocrity

Lightly Oiled and Deeply Geared for Average Urth Middle-of Roader Extremist Lifestyles

Scarcely caring to lose the lucrative Kultur Wars cash cow on our parallel universe world of "Urth," the Mt. Palomine Institute publishing division--Pillepublico--has been releasing separate Red "State" (what we call National Districts, a "state" is a condition of matter, as in the state of being a gas) and Blue "State" editions of its ever-popular Pilletrails travel magazine in an attempt to appeal to extremists of all yellow stripes and large calibers. Issue Number 1 of the "Urth" versions feature hard-hitting red or blue articles on, nature (bulldozing or blindly worshiping), wildlife (killing or blindly worshipping), firearms (blindly worshipping or acting like frightened little girls about), and what's wrong in Warshin'town? (not interfering with people's lives nowhere near enough or not interfering with people's lives nowhere near enough). The cover of the Blue "State" Pilletrails (above) depicts the last Jibjobwa Native American meditating stoically, pacifistically, and without gender or sexual-preference bias on the destruction of his/her traditional hunting grounds by the White Man (with a little help from some Irish, Freedmen, other Natives, Hispanics, and Chinese Coolies who at no point ever saw the aboriginals as anything less than comrades and kin). The cover of the Red "State" Pilletrails (above) depicts the first Jibjobwa entrepreneur counting the casino's wampum and pondering advertising costs and his investment portfolio. [Our Erde home edition cover just shows a Jibjobwa Medicine Man patiently awaiting mail plane delivery of the new Whitefeather-Ward catalogue--reprint of a famous painting by Norman Rockwell] Both "Urth" editions contain identical advertisements for wines, cheese-of-the-month clubs, SUVs, fashion accessories, collectibles, self-help books, and stuffed bears (red) or dolphins (blue), indicating a commonality of (if nothing else) income and obliviousness.